| "I made a list. I checked it twice. I left it at home." |
| "She wants me. Behold the power of eggnog." |
| "Get Lit." |
| "Is it January yet?" |
| "Don't drink and decorate." |
| "Indoor plumbing. Cool." |
| "Who is this Round John Virgin, anyway?" |
| "Not a creature was stirring.." |
| "My name is Get Away From the Christmas Tree. What's Yours?" |
| "I believe in Santa Claus... I believe in any man who brings me presents and leaves before I have to make him breakfast!" |
| "I'm Bi-Polar!" |
| "it's sort of the one i wanted. but hell, i can always regift it." |
| "holidays with the family are always a trip... a trip to the liquor store." |
| "dear santa, here's a picture of our chimney. please email me the dimensions of your ass, because i don't think this is gonna work. love, emily" |
| "Hors d'oeuvres: A French term meaning "Have more - they're small." |
| Christmas Humor Napkins |