| "Life of the Party Guard" |
| "Think Pink" |
| "Hey Bob! How's the water? Bob? Bob!? BOB!!" |
| "Maine Lobster Been there. Ate that." |
| "You free for lunch?" |
| "Tell me the truth- Does PINK make my butt look big?" |
| "Goddess of the Grill" |
| "Excuse me? Did you talk to me before I've had my coffee??" |
| "Your tattoo with the Chinese characters? It means "Won Ton Soup $2.75" |
| "I'm not saying she's a slut. We'll okay, yes I am" |
| "Oh, Boo-frickin'-Hoo. Have a cocktail and get over it." |
| "Golf! The only sport that allows drinking and driving." |
| "I listed Starbucks as my emergency contact at work" |
| "Happy Hour has now been extended to accommodate multiple time zones." |
| Humorous Napkins |